Of Cigarettes and Karma and Irony
by AuroraWeasley
Summary: "I'm sick. Lung cancer."/ "It's so ironic, Lily. We were supposed to be the generation of the new beginning after the war and now look at us. Addicts and insane and dying."/ "The smell of smoke: your favourite smell in the world. Oh, the irony." Rated for swearing and character death.


**Title: Of Cigarettes and Karma and Irony**

 **Summary: "I'm sick. Lung cancer."/ "It's so ironic, Lily. We were supposed to be the generation of the new beginning after the war and now look at us. Addicts and insane and** _ **dying."/**_ **The smell of smoke: your favourite smell in the world. Oh, the irony.**

 **Warning: Character death, swearing, suicide mention, cancer, cigarettes**

 **A/N: Background info, I have a storyline where Lily Luna is diagnosed with lung cancer at 25. I'm not going to say too much to give stuff away, but I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"We need to talk."

He walks over, studying your posture, expression, everything.

Because he knows something's wrong, even when you insist there's nothing.

You gesture for him to sit down across from you. He nods and settles down before gazing at you thoughtfully, smiling.

The smile makes you uncomfortable. It looks forced and fake like he's just doing it to be polite.

Is that all you've come to? Politeness? God, you two used to be able to read each other like books. Joking, playing around, teasing. You used to be so close when you were children.

You let your gaze wander from his eyes, studying every little piece of him. He's tense, just like you knew he would be, as if bracing for an attack. Whether verbal or physical or mental, you don't know. His cheeks have sunk in ever so slightly and there are dark bags under his eyes. You know he's tired of trying to keep this broken family together while trying to hold his own little family up.

His white shirt is a little baggy. You know he hasn't been eating properly. Not since he lost his baby girl.

You notice he still has his leather jacket on. That _was_ always his favourite.

He ran his fingers through his messy raven hair and sighed.

"Lily, you're staring." He quietly observed.

You rub your eyes. You're so drained. Always are lately, you realise bitterly.

"I miss you, James."

He gives you a sad smile. "I know Lils, but why haven't you called?"

You laugh bitterly. "You're busy with Alice and Liam and Janny. And you're trying to fix everyone even though you just lost your baby. You don't have time for your insane little sister."

He shakes his head. "You know I'm always here for you, Lily."

You shrug.

He sits and studies you for a few moments. It makes you wonder what's going through his head.

"Something's off with you. It's like you've given up on yourself. You're losing weight and you look empty. What's going on?"

"I'm sick. Lung cancer. It's terminal, there's nothing they can do but wait it out."

He sighed and pushed his palms in his eyes, trying to stop tears from leaking through. He gives up, letting them fall before laughing bitterly. "It's so ironic, Lily. We were supposed to be the generation of the new beginning after the war and now look at us. All of us, we're fucking ruined. Addicts and insane and _dying."_ He choked out.

You pull out a cigarette from your pocket and light it with your wand before offering one to him.

He rolls his eyes before taking one, lighting it with his wand. "You shouldn't be smoking these. They're killing you."

You shrug before taking a drag, inhaling the smell of smoke, your favourite smell in the world. Oh, the _irony_ , that your favourite thing in the world is the very thing killing you.

"I'm going to die anyways. Sixth time's a charm, isn't it?"

He shoots you a look. "Stop talking like that or they'll shove you back in Mungo's."

You shake your head. "They won't. I'm dying anyways, I'm not going to off myself. The cancer's just going to do that for me."

He swallows, rubbing the tears away from his eyes. "I hate that, y'know. We were going to name the baby Lily Dominique. And it's only been a month since we lost her. And now I find out I have to lose you too."

You sigh as you both finish your cigarettes and put them out in the ashtray. "Mum yelled at me when I told her. She said I shouldn't have started smoking. She was crying."

He tugs you into his arms. "I love you, Lily. We all do, and god I'm going to miss you like fucking hell."

* * *

Al was the one who woke up next to your hospital bed two days after your 27th birthday.

You were so cold.

It was all over the news for awhile. " _The youngest Potter tragically passed away." "R.I.P. Lily Potter II." "The Potters and Weasleys lose yet another one."_

It was hard to plan your funeral. It was your parents, James, Al, Lucy, Beth, Alice, and Josh. Lucy was your best friend, and neither she nor your brothers could plan it without the support of their spouses.

The funeral itself was just full of crying and bitterness. It was mostly family, old friends and classmates and several old teachers.

It was odd seeing all the children run around, playing. None of the older ones were close enough to you to be badly affected, and the younger ones were just too young to understand.

But it was hard for your parents especially. You aren't supposed to bury your child. They locked themselves in their room as soon it was over.

Al had to keep an eye on everything else.

Rose crumpled to the ground and started screaming when she saw lilies in the flower bed. Hermione had to take the kids home while Scorpius was trying to quiet her.

Nana was wobbling with her cane. She always looks so old now, ever since your grandfather passed. She's losing her family. First Uncle Fred, then Grandad, then George and Angelina, then you, Lily. Her little flower. Don't tell Rosie, but you were always Nana's favourite flower.

The youngest isn't supposed to die first. And _fuck_ , everyone feels responsible. They should've made you stop smoking. And drinking. And doing drugs.

Then maybe you would've lived.

Didn't you know guilt can eat you up?

That's why Lucy never showed up to your funeral. She was your big sister since your family took her in. She was supposed to keep you safe.

And _God,_ Lorcan. He was torn apart. He hated your goddamn cancer. You were his everything for ten years. You were supposed to get married when you both had stable jobs. That's what you had agreed to, and didn't tell anybody.

It's not fair, Lily. You were only twenty-seven. You should've gotten married to Lorcan and had a family. You wanted to be an author after you got out of rehab. You were getting so much better before the cancer arrived.

You should've quit, Lily. Drugs and alcohol and cigarettes never solved a fucking thing. Everyone's so mad because you weren't supposed to die. You're only twenty-seven.

But I guess that's what you get for, ruining your body, don't you? You knew it'd kill you in the end. But that was the point, wasn't it?

Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

* * *

 **A/N: So Alice Longbottom (Neville's daughter) is James' wife, and Liam and Janny (Janelle) are their two kids. They had one miscarriage. Beth (Elisabeth) Wood is Lucy's wife, and Josh Zabini (Son of Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson) is Al's husband. I've written a one-shot about the aftermath of this story, and it'll be focusing on Al and Josh mostly. I'll be uploading that after I upload this.**

 **The title of it is Lachrymose.**

 **Please review and feel free to ask any questions if you need clarification.**

 **Thanks,**

 **AuroraWeasley**


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